Horrible

That is how I would sum up the activities of last week.

It all begins innocently enough. The kids go down to bed in a normal fashion. Parents do the same. The kids have taken recently to having "sleep overs" in each other's rooms. Which is fine on the weekends but we don't allow it during the week in the hope they will actually get enough rest and be able to be up and have enough energy for school.

Well, #1 decided in the middle of the night to crawl into bed with #2. This normally would not be a problem. But #2 managed to fall out of bed at some point around 11:30 or so. Kid comes stumbling into Mom and Dad's room crying "I fell out of bed". The better half, sleeping closer to the bedroom door, is woken up and starts to help her. The concerned voice telling me to get out of bed woke me up instantly, knowing that something was wrong.

#2 had a couple inch long gash just under the nose at a slight angle that reached all the way to the lip. It's bleeding, although not terribly. Apparently, the wooden toy mailbox next to the bed packs a mean punch. We immediately got some ice on it and took a better look in the light. The poor kid is pretty scared but stops crying just about immediately once the ice goes on it. It's tough to tell how deep the cut is but there is definitely stitches potential.

A quick call to the doctor and we're told that a trip to the ER is needed. Fortunately, we live less than 10 minutes from the hospital. Unfortunately, the ER there is really more of just an R. Even more unfortunate is my forgetfulness that the next closest hospital, which is about 30 minutes or so away, is a really excellent hospital with a pediatric ER. More on this later.

So, we head to the ER, get checked in and go into the waiting room. About 8 people in front of us. Sweet. We see the triage nurse, who basically gets us a cold pack and sends us back to the waiting room.

We spend the next two hours waiting for our turn to see a doctor. One side note, while we are waiting, there are flat screen TVs everywhere. The 20something guy watching the TV asks if we want to watch the cartoon that has just come up. I tell him no, the kid just likes watching Sportscenter. He switches the TV and some basketball highlights are on. #2 asks immediately if Kirk Hinrich is playing. Young dude is suitably impressed with 3 year old's knowledge of NBA hoops.

After 2 hours, the kid and parent are getting tired, the kid has stopped crying and there are still at least 2 people in front of us to see a doctor. We decide to pack it in and head home for some sleep. Not smart. That done, we get up the next am and head to our doctor's office.

The doctor is unhappy about our decision because apparently, if needed, stitches should be done within 6 hours of the incident. Well, to be honest, I'm not sure if we would have beat the 6 hour mark even if we stayed at the ER. So, doctor cleans up the cut and tells us to go back to the ER to because she thinks we need stitches. #2 is displeased, as is parent.

But, we schlep it over to the ER. Fortunately, the doctor is closer to the other hospital and the pediatric ER is just opening, so we are the first consumers of the day. This helps as we are seen immediately. The nurse here was fantastic, having great bedside manner with the kid. She talks about putting on some "magic paint", which is really a topical anasthetic. That was great. Could have used some magic paint myself.

Then the doctor comes to put the stitches in. This is where things got really painful. In order to do the stitches, the kid gets put in what looks like a sort of sleeping bag with velcro straps. This is to prevent movement while the stitches are being done. Then, a nurse is deployed on each arm and a male nurse with biceps the size of balloons is set to hold #2's head. They start to scrub the cut to prep it for the stitches and the kid is just screaming, turning red, horrible, horrible, horrible! I'm trying to calm things down but there is no calming.

At this point, the doctor determines that more anasthetic is needed. He pulls out the needle. This is also not a popular decision. After much struggling and some poking, he finally gets enough shot up. I wish he would have used the needle on me first. After the shot, things calm down considerably and three stitches are pretty smoothly seamed up. The kid is bought off with an orange popsicle and a Scooby Doo sticker and we're on our way home.

Needless to say, #2 zonked out as soon as the popsicle was gone and slept for several hours after the ordeal. And I got to bed mighty early that night. There were many lessons learned here.

1. I am really dumb for not going to the pediatric ER. This mistake will not be repeated.
2. I am really dumb for waiting 2 hours in the ER and then not even sticking around to get served.
3. I am really dumb because I'm probably going to wind up paying for 2 ER visits even though only one resulted in actual services rendered.
4. I am really dumb.

Enough of my rambling, thankfully the stitches should be dissolved in the next couple days. And the swelling is mostly gone. Hopefully there won't be much of a mark to serve as a great reminder of how dumb I am.

Until next time.

Ace