What about your friends?

Yeah, I was singing that old TLC song in my head when I wrote that title. That's just sick and wrong. But that Chili girl sure was hot, in fact, she probably still is.


Anywho, I've been thinking a lot lately about friends and friendship in general. I've got several friends going through some pretty big things in their life right now and it's made me stop to think about how we all go through phases with our friends. And I started to make a sort of connected list in my head of the people I've been closest to as friends in my life. It is actually kind of a fun and amusing exercise but I also am tinged with sadness.

For example, I had one person that I considered a very close friend. We met at a point in our lives where we had lots of free time and spent a great deal of time together. We did all sorts of things but primarily the typical things guys do in their spare time, sports, video games, etc. He got a girlfriend and it all changed. We didn't spend that much time together but that didn't really bother me all that much. He essentially moved in with her (although he still kept his own place) and gave me her number to call him there. However, any attempt to call him there was met with great rudeness on her part and if he wasn't there, I sincerely doubt he got any messages. I told him about this but her behavior never changed. I don't believe I ever spent any time with the two of them; in fact, I don't think I ever saw her after they got together (I knew of who she was previous to their relationship). My friend often complained about her and often said he was on the verge of breaking it off with her.

Of course, they got engaged. Strangely, I was asked to be in the wedding party, despite being absolutely convinced that she hated me. When my friend asked me, I told him I couldn't do it. I said that I just couldn't believe that his wife to be wanted me in her wedding party. It was a pretty brief discussion and that's all I really remember about it. To be honest, I think I've only spoken to him once or twice since, once in person, and it was pretty awkward. The wedding went ahead and they are still married.

I really regret having turned down the invitation to be in the wedding party and feel like I turned my back on my friend. And I miss having the guy as a friend, we share a lot of common interests and always had a pretty good time hanging out. I really think it didn't show much class to turn him down and regret having done it. I've often thought about reaching out to him to talk about it but just haven't pulled the trigger. I've even thought of just getting in touch and try to re-establish a relationship without really addressing the whole history. I don't know, maybe I will someday. At this point, it's been many, many years since the whole thing took place, maybe time has healed the old wound.

Anyhow, I also think about WHY I'm friends with certain people. A lot of the people I stay in contact with regularly are people I attended college with. Some of these are funny, they are completely just reminiscences of times gone by - there is one guy where we never talk about anything except what happened in college. Sort of strange. On the other hand, I probably spend more time with a friend that is a neighbor of mine than anyone else. We've gotten to be good friends over a lot of things, poker, sports, helping each other around the house with projects, that sort of thing. It's definitely easier to build that kind of friendship since you just have to step outside the house to meet up! And some of the other people I consider among my closest friends I rarely see or talk to at all. It's all quite a strange, tangled web. But I've always been someone who valued my friendships greatly, in many cases being able to count on friends far more than others like the family. But usually I'm friends with them because I enjoy their company and we share some sort of common interest. I suppose that's the case with most of us.

But then, I've always had sort of a strange tendency to have some VERY strange friends. For example, for a while in high school, one of the guys I hung out with was a sort of fringe outcast loner type of guy. For a few months, we were inseperable and I'm still not sure why. There were a couple guys in college that NO ONE could stand that for some reason were quite friendly to me and I wound up spending a decent amount of time with. I like to think that it's due to my openmindedness and great decency but I always was able to find common ground with these folks. But it's more likely due to some selfish convenience that I'm not allowing myself to admit.

Anyhow, enough of my narcissistic psycho-babble, I'm going to the Cubs/Mets game Friday and off to a concert several hours away afterwards. I can't wait, despite the extreme heat that is expected. I may even get crazy and go to the casino after all of this! We'll see, in the meantime, I've got a math quiz tonight and about 6 reading projects to finish in the several days. I definitely have a strong shot at straight As for this semester so I really want to buckle down and lock it in.

And a warning for my next blog entry, I will likely post an original poem. My ability to take myself far too seriously apparently knows no bounds! But all my reading has gotten me fired up to do some writing again, a much deserted habit of mine.

Until next time.

Ace